Summer

Hey Guys summer is here! We are adjusting to a new routine that involves early morning weight-training for the guys and moments of work for me here and there. I do love having a schedule that is a little softer, but we sure have to get used to a new routine.
I am most excited about the outline for a new book hitting the corners of my brain, they seem to have some freedom as there is not too much up there right now. A little soft and out of practice from focused thinking for sure. But I am loving the thoughts about finishing, what we should and should never finish. Maybe I could start with finishing eating, in fact, maybe even keep typing instead of heading down the hall for the last piece of apple pie on the counter! But as much as I would love to say I have control over my eating, which I don't (however I did not eat the pie) I am thinking about finishing other things. First on the top of my soft, vacant brain is to finish feeling sorry for myself! How is that for fun and honest. I am thinking about anchoring my new book in the Minor Prophets, not sure which of them felt the most sorry for himself, maybe they all did at times, because they shared the thing I believe sits at the bottom of self-pity which is extreme loneliness. Not always from being alone, but more from being alone in your feelings, thoughts, burdens. For that to continue is truly the choice of one person and that is us. Why do we love that place enough to move toward it even when we have options that would take us away? And if we were to finish feeling sorry for ourselves what would that look like? If I knew I would probably now be letting out a heavy sign right now, or getting up to get the apple pie, just kidding, I am having more fun figuring this out with you than eating! Even though I don't think Jonah has the answer for us completely in this place, he sure was a guy who knew how to wallow in self pity, not sure he totally figured out how to solve that as he sat and overlooked Nineveh still intact, but he did at least figure out how to get over himself in the belly of a big fish. Listen to what he said as his throat was being strangled by the seaweed: "When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your hold temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." I think that is enough. As I type that out the only thing I can think is that there is no more disgusting an idol than ourselves, and no better way we worship it than when we are throwing a great pity party for one! How is that for some summer cheer, you probably wish I would have gone for the apple pie! :) No really guys, don't you think it helps at times to just say it, to say this whole thing is about me and I don't like any of it and somehow as the words come out we realize that we are sinking in a mess of seaweed and it dawns on us that we could make this about God, we could like Jonah remember him and we possibly might even make Him more important that us and take hold of some of that amazing, undeserved grace we have been forfeiting. I feel better! I hope you do. I think this blog stuff might be pretty cool, there is nothing I love better than discovering truth out loud, you may not still be reading, you may have checked out with the whole apple pie thing, but if you are, I would love to hear what you think, you don't have to tell me you feel sorry for yourself, but maybe you can connect with the truth that you can find in the belly of a big fish!